Motherhood

Motherhood is something that most people experience, but no one person can experience it in the same exact way as another person. When people think of motherhood, there is a variety of things that may come to mind. It may also depend on who you ask. As someone that is not a mother themselves, I have a limited view of motherhood. I took a class on American Motherhood to expand my knowledge on motherhood and get a greater understanding of some things that may confuse me.

As I had mentioned earlier, I am not a mother. I was not sure if I wanted to have children or not. That, however, was not something that prevented me from learning about motherhood, it actually encouraged me to take the course. I took this class hoping to figure out if raising and having children was something I wanted for myself. I did not know much about motherhood besides the things that I had experienced.

Before I took my American motherhood class, I would think of motherhood as simple basic knowledge that came from the top of my head. I never thought there would be a class about motherhood. What I had expected to learn from the class or any class that involves motherhood, was completely different from what I experienced. When I saw that there was a course called American motherhood, I expected to be taught about becoming a good mother and taking care of children. I never expected to be taught about the troubles that mothers face.

For a little background, I am a black woman that was raised by a single mother. My experience with motherhood could be a little different from those who weren’t raised by a single mother. Seeing as my mother was the only one that was involved in my life, I felt like mothers played a very important role in their children’s lives.  I have had a very positive experience with my mother and I am grateful for that because there are others that are not as fortunate. My mother was dedicated to her children and would do anything she could to provide for her children. Outside of the experience I had with my mother I never understood the other complexities that come along with motherhood.

Not having to raise children on my own, I never really understood the struggles a mother had to face. My mother was always smiling and did not seem bothered by much in the world. I grew up thinking that my mother was invincible because she did not show otherwise. I grew up thinking that mothers did not really have any trouble, because of what I saw in my mother. That perspective completely changed when I took this course and I am glad my eyes were opened to the struggles a mother may face.  

The most I could ever relate to my mother was when I was younger and used to look after my little brother. Though I did not have to worry about everything that a mother worried about, I was considered the little mother in the house. I was also the oldest sibling, naturally, I took the role of the parent when my mother was not home. It was not until I took this course that I had a greater understanding of my role as a woman and of motherhood.

I had just mentioned my past knowledge and experiences of motherhood. I have yet however talked about what all I have exactly learned about this class. Earlier I had mentioned quite a couple of things that I did not know about motherhood; the struggles and complexities being one of the most important points. One of the other big points that I made was my confusion about my role in motherhood. Little did I know I actually played a larger role than I assumed I had.

One of the most interesting things that I learned, was that black women are taught from an early age to grow up and be mother figures. It was the most shocking and interesting thing to have learned from this class because I could relate to this more than most other articles. The article was about African American motherhood, as I mentioned earlier, I was raised by a single mother and am an African American woman. The articles main focus was raising and taking care of children in African American communities. There were various stories about how the community would come together to take care of the children. The term they would give the women that were not the mothers of these children, yet they were helping take care of them is other mothers. When I think back to my childhood, I realize that I was in a sense an other mother when I would take care of my siblings and others. Another interesting point that was made is that black women are raised from an early age to be independent so that they can help out in the communities.  I remember being raised to be independent as early as ten years old, expected to grow up at an early age. This article had resonated with me the most and it made so much more since when I would think back on my life.

The struggles that mothers face were also something very interesting to learn about. The one thing I have come to learn is that there is no correct way to be a mother. There are some expectations that mothers have and even guidelines, but there is no definitive way to be a perfect mother. Mothers are expected to be perfect and that is what causes many mothers to stress and possibly become depressed. The mother’s job is highly misunderstood and sometimes even belittled for what it truly is.

A mother’s job is constantly overlooked, as many think that it is just a simple job that anyone can do. Some may think that a mother’s job only consists of cooking, cleaning the house, and taking care of the children. As I have come to learn throughout that course, that could be nowhere near the truth. In one of the readings, it was mentioned that the work mothers do at home for free, are jobs that are valued out in society. A mother cooks like a chef, cleans and does laundry like a maid, takes care of the children like a daycare, looks after the sick as a nurse, does the taxes, and sometimes they even take care of the elderly like a caretaker.  These are all respected professions out in society, but when a mother does it, it often gets overlooked as the mother's job. These are just some of the struggle’s mothers face, the struggles of motherhood are constantly overlooked, most mothers just want recognition for the hard work that they do.

            I have come to learn that a mother’s job is not in the least bit easy. I could never truly be able to understand all the complexities that come with motherhood. Continuing to educate myself on motherhood is some insight into a mother’s everyday life, but my experience is different from a mother. Reading about a mother’s experience with her children, I was able to see that it is never the same from person to person. Though some may experience some similarities nothing is truly the same.

            Mothers have come together to share their experiences. It’s a way for them to let off some of the stress they are facing and even get advice when they need it. Allie Kibler a mother who set up a blog hoping to help other mothers that may struggle as she had, gives some interesting pointers on topics I’ve discussed. Her blog is alliekibler.com and she usually posts about topics that are not usually discussed in motherhood. One of her blogs, “Motherhood Is Messy… Let's Make Life Easier” helped me realize that there are many people who face struggles within motherhood. She mentioned her purpose was to help those that may need it. I looked throughout several blogs about parenting and motherhood, it is such a large community. Reading her blog helped me understand there are struggles mothers may not discuss, but it does not mean that they don’t exist. She mentioned that motherhood is not only literally messy but also figuratively. Mothers have strong emotions because they are trying to become the perfect mother, she said “mothers should lift each other up because they are already hard enough on themselves”.

            Reading blogs such as her and reading articles about the history of motherhood changed my views completely. I understand that there is more to motherhood than just what I have experienced. I now view motherhood as one of the most complex and rewarding jobs to exist. After learning about the struggles, a mother may face and all the things she does for her family, I was able to realize that it was several jobs made into one, and it is called motherhood.

            I now have a greater understanding of motherhood and its importance. When mothers speak about the importance and struggles, they face, I will be able to share what I’ve learned to help educate others. Though there is a large community of mothers, the job is still misunderstood and occasionally overlooked. A way to help those get a greater understanding of motherhood is to continue to spread awareness about the struggles mothers may face. As many have already been doing, they are writing books, articles, and blogs about the life of a mother.

            To summarize all the points I have made, I took a motherhood course to expand my knowledge and get a greater understanding of things that may have confused me. After my completion of this course, I was better able to get an understanding of American motherhood. I developed a greater understanding, rather than just viewing motherhood as a mother parenting children. I’ve come to learn the aspects of motherhood and the opinions society has placed upon it.